*Thanks for the image Tay!*
So today definatly wasnt an easy day, its been two weeks now as ive gotten so much closer to God but there are definatly times and days like today when i feel myself going back to where i was, and thats just not acceptable to me! anyways my bible study today was amazing! and i think thats why the rest of the day has just been kind of blah and had random crap thrown at me but it was about the Holy Spirit and how it counsules you. and how when we hear from It as long as it lines up with the word of God its from the Holy Spirit and we need to listen and take action. that was awesome to me, i know there are times ive heard from the Holy Spirit and convenced myself i didnt, or didnt want to take the action so i told myself i was wrong: i wasnt! i was just afraid of the action that needed to follow, or having to wait for the answer to take affect, well im tired of that, im sick of there being no action in my life. i know there are tons of things God has told me i have to wait on but there are also things that need action even if that action isnt always the easiest to do. but after that revelation this morning i definatly allowed myself to slip back into old habits and things that i thought i had gotten out of my life months ago are slowly trying to creep back into my life, i refuse!!! God gave me red flags back then that i didnt immidiately listen to and i dont want to go back there, i know that is part of my flesh filling a void that i need God to fill, if i cant have that red flag at a distance that doesnt make me go back to where i was then i dont want it in my life. period. point blank. i refuse to go back to the place i was, a place further away from God then i ever wish to be again and i refuse to go back to a place where i didnt communicate with, love, thrust, have faith in, the Love of my life like i should.