This weekend i had to take some steps and follow what i felt like God was leading me to, i needed to have a conversation with someone and had been praying God would open the door at the right time, and He did. He woke me up to a facebook message and gave me incrediable peace to be able to express myself clearly. although this was a converation that i needed to have i had been struggling for about a week to have it and it not come off angry, because i definatly could have been said in anger and that would have not been Gods will. So i waited for the right time and am so thankful the Lord gave it to me, please dont get me wrong it was not easy and was a topic i was avoiding and have been for sometime but i was finally at peace about which ever way it went. Although it went the way i thought it would which still isnt an easy road im glad i did it, i feel like i can finally have my life back, not because they are not in it anymore but because i have truly given the situation to God for the first time, i am trusting Him to have His will in my life and i truly have no idea what that is right now, but i know i cant do it on my own, ive tried and look where it has gotten me. I had a good cry yesterday, chatted about it with my best friend and after a good cry, i feel like i can actually be done now, i knew it wouldnt be easy and it would be an adjustment to no longer have him in my life however God has once again proven Himself faithful when this morning i woke up and checked my email and the Air 1 verse of the day was:
For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
~ 2 Corinthians 4:17, NLT
I'm telling you i could have done laps this morning after reading that! ( sorry thats my inner pentocoastal coming out!!) Then in one of my devotions the devotion theme has been finding your joy, and today it talked about where we place our treasure/self worth/identity and how much that effects how much joy we have. Ive been placing my treasure in far to many worldly things for far to long and not in the God of all Creation who tells me i am fearfully and wonderfully made! I'm excited for the first time in some time to truly just be with God, to allow myself to find my hope, and joy and peace from Him, and im excited to get to share that with my new preicous little two year olds sunday school class :-)
Im also pretty excited to start bootcamp tomorrow! i hope to post a weekly update on my weight loss!