Monday, September 27, 2010

This Is My Awakening...

So i've been struggling to back away from a situation that i know i need to just let God handle. Its so hard for me because im afraid if i back away the situtaion might crumble. but being around and so close to this is doing nothing but keeping me in the same place and i refuse to stay here. so tonight watching the live link it dawned on me that as much ive struggled lately to just let go and let God because im afraid if i do something for me that it would effect someone else that its for the best for all involved for me to bow out gracefully and know that God will handle this. I tell God all the time that ill give it all up and move anywhere and do anything but thats not true if im not willing to give up the little things already in my life that do nothing to bring me closer to God, and yet im hanging on to them with everything i have...dont make alot of sense. So i know its not going to be easy, and im not exactly sure how to back away or what the right level is or the degree that God wants me to but i know for the better of myself, my relationship with God, and everyone involved, i have to because i care to much about my walk with God and the others involved to not. I cant be that person anymore its not helpful to anyone and as hard as it is Gods asked me to step away and focus on other things and allow Him to fix all the rest, i cant fix everything for everyone and i honestly dont want to, i enjoy seeing people just rely on God and see Him get them thru. now i have to do the same. so this is my awakening....time to listen to God and know He'll handle it.

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