Monday, August 30, 2010

I was a flight risk with a fear of fallin.

You made a rebel out of a careless mans careful daughter; You make me feeling like I'm living a teenage dream.

Oh what to say, I have every desire in the world to just run away and never look back. not in a bad way but in a ready to make it on my own, ready to have an adventure and take a risk kind of way. i feel like I'm at a place where id leave school and just follow God, knowing that if He blessed me leaving school that He would provide a way. I know college would help but I've also learned that without God every things going to be harder if it not God's will. and what i want out of life isn't exactly an easy field to get into but i know God has a plan for me that involves me helping people and nothing else matters. I'm itching because i know that my true calling very likely isn't in Georgia, at least not forever. Id love to just go run away for awhile and disappear, to know i was making a difference in someones world outside of this little town where everyone knows me and over looks how much i actually do. but its more than that, i use to be such a chicken, a girl that trembled at the thought of being alone, or her husband being a adrenaline junkie but its taken me along time to realize how strong i truly am. how special and strong man it will take to keep up with me. and how excited i am to have an adventure with him. im ready to go climb mountains, go kayaking somewhere amazing, go move somewhere where all i have is God and the faith that He'll provide. Im ready to just rely on God, i think im going to be doing alot of that later on so i defiantly think He's preparing me for it now. so this is me giving it to Him. Ive given alot of it up already and i can already see the amazing changes but here is the rest. There are things and situations that control so much of my life, things that cause me to focus on that, try and fix everything for everyone. well thats between them and God now. I care about people so much expecally the ones that are close to my heart but I'm exited to see where God takes them when i pull back to the level He needs me at and allows them to just rely on Him. Theres no time or reason for drama when were this old and all have so many better things to worry about. so as far as im concerned there are no hard feelings, nor love lost. im just ready to move forward into an amazing place and hopfully and amazing adventure.  :-)

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