When Life Changes Without You Knowing

Sometimes right in the middle of my busy life i look around and wonder when did my life change so much? My life that never changes much, i do the same things for the most part day in and day out, but every once in a while i look up from my consistent life and am amazed at how drastically God has changed what is around me. Currently it is my church and He has added a great friend to my life. I am so grateful God trusts me with the responsibility of another close friend to enjoy life with and the growth I've had since changing churches has been amazing, and exactly what i needed! I am incredibly grateful that right in the middle of what feels like just a normal life event God decides to give me a new adventure! 

One Simple Question

It is amazing how during the middle of an ordinary lunch with friends a question can be asked that really makes you stop dead in your tracks and think about your life. A friend asked me recently if a daydream I've had for awhile actually came true would i be happy about it. And honestly it threw me on my butt that i wasn't sure i actually would be. It something I've thought about and considered what would happen if that was the direction God actually took my life in. Ive told myself before it would be great, different than what i thought id be doing with the rest of my life but it seemed like a comfortable option. But in the moment as my mind started to wonder i realized maybe there is better out there for me. Maybe just maybe what i have wanted for some time is not actually what is best for me. That God has a plan for me that my simple human mind can not even begin to create. So as i day dream about what seems to be the best ill get God is stilling there gently begging me to allow Him to give me more. And it really made me realize i want more! I want Gods best for me now i don't know what that will be but what i do know is i can't even imagine it yet! 

Quite Days...

The different topics that are currently swirling through my mind are to numerous for one blog post and honestly a few of them would probably get me in trouble. Some times on quite days when my phone barely rings and i am over whelmed with lit i wonder if i am truly on the path i am suppose to be. Are the people in my life there because of me or God, am i filling my time up with things and tasks of my own doing or from God's will. But then i think sometimes God uses a quite day to make me simply focus on Him. As the devil comes along and whispers in my ear how unappreciated i am my God tells me i am loved enough for Him to quite everyone else so my heart can simply rest in Him. I am not good at being still. In fact i spend most of my time avoiding it. I am constantly on the go, between work, the gym, church, friends, family and school i am always either doing something for others or trying to find enough time to do something for myself. And i think right there in the mist of those busy moments when my phone stops ringing and it feels as though the world might end if i don't have something to do God puts His hand on my heart and simply calms me into that moment. I am forever grateful that today was one of those day. My phone barely rang and i hardly talked to anyone who wasn't a customer or coworker but right then, right in that moment that the devil tried to overwhelm me with sadness, God overwhelmed me with joy for the simple, peaceful times with Him!

Comfort vs. Growth

It is said that once you become comfortable with something that is the point you know you are no longer growing in that area. Sometimes in my own life i wonder how true that is, and how much that effects my life. There are lots of things i am comfortable with but i still feel like i am growing with them. But then again there are areas of my life that i get so uncomfortable with based solely on the fact that i am not continuing to grown in that area. It is such a fine balance that has to be reached in life and it is an even more delicate balance when it comes to people. I want new experiences and to meet new people and do new things however there are days in life when all i want is the people and things in life i know. The things i don't have to work at being comfortable with or put work into getting to know new people. But i guess i can't complain about feeling stuck when i don't do anything to change it. I guess its time to figure out if comfort is where i am suppose to be right now or the beginning of a new adventure and a calling to get out of my comfort zone and see where i end up. There are benefits and down falls to each however i know God has a big plan for my life both with the things that make me comfortable and those that get me out of my comfort zone. And who knows, maybe God plans to show me the perfect was to balance the comfortable things i love and the new adventures i crave! 

Learning To Over Come....

Tonight as i worked my butt off at the gym and then came home and finally caved in an ate a thing of Spagettio's after lots and lots of justification i realized that although it may not have been my healthiest choice it is something i am glad i can do and not beat myself up afterwards. After 15 years of dancing and learning all the wrong ways to loose weight and struggling with a period of my life where i hardly ate and worked out several hours a day i am proud. I am proud that i can work out daily with a healthy mindset, and that i can be happy in my body weather it be somewhat over weight or in the best shape of my life. That is not something i could always say and it just proves to me once again how far i have come since i was a teenager and just how much God has done in my life. I know to most this probably wouldn't seem like much however to anyone who has ever struggled with food and health it is a very hard thing to over come because so much of it is mental. 

And the mental battles are always the hardest!

Dedication

A little over a year ago i started a journey to be able to run up a flight of stairs again and not get winded. I had just begun a new job and wanted to start fresh in who i was as a person. So much about me had changed at this point and i wanted to keep that going. I use to dance easily 20 hours a week and at that point don't think i could have danced for 30 minutes straight. So i started working. I began lifting weights and doing cardio. I could run 6 miles and had dropped 17% of my body weight. Then in April i had to have surgery and take 12 weeks off. Now i am slowly but surely working my way back up to where i was. Now every morning as my alarm goes off at 5:30am i am amazed i manage to get up and get myself going. It may take me what feels like 15 bags, bottles, and outfits to pull off working out twice a day however i love the energy and sense of accomplishment that comes from it. I am not a morning person so to be able to get up every morning go into the kitchen mix up my Spark and get myself dressed and packed for the day as i head out by 6am is amazing to me! I have really buckled down the last few weeks and and have already been able to see amazing differences! And i can not wait to see where i will be at the end of my current 24 Day Advocare Challenge and continue on my fitness journey! 

Grown up get in your junk friends

On nights like tonight i am reminded what amazing friends i have. We have a little group Audra, The Jar(r)ed's and I get together as often as we can and we always have a great time. But more importantly than the laugh, jokes, or insults we can playfully sling at one another we are truly friends. Not the fake kind that tells you what you want to hear all the time but the real grown up get in your junk when you need it friends and i am so grateful for that kind of relationship. They are people i know will tell me the trust weather i want to hear it or not and will love me through whatever i am going through. The older i get the more thankful i am for the friends i have like this and honestly i probably have more than most. I always joke Audra is my sandpaper friend and although i say it jokingly its really true. She tests me, she holds my feet to the fire, calls me on the carpet all while managing to love me through whatever it is I'm going through. I believe the older we get the more we start to cherish the things that use to drive us crazy while we were growing up. The more we realize our parents were right about a few things. My daddy always says to pick your friends carefully and he is right on the money on that one and i am so glad i have great ones!